So You Have A Degree and Don’t Use It

Same. Whoever said going to college right after high school was the next step clearly wasn’t thinking. Go to school and get a degree so you can get a good job, they said. Well, what about living life to the fullest while you’re young? How about traveling, adventure, meeting new people and getting as much expose as possible while you could? Or, ok, how about we take it down a notch and just say getting different work experiences so you might have a better understanding of what you want to do with your life. No one at 18 knows what the heck they want to do forever. It starts with- hmm, psychology 101 was pretty interesting and the next thing you know it’s four years later and you’re graduating with a Bachelors in Psychology and don’t want anything to do with it.

Welcome to my current meltdown! Like most first year students, I had no idea what I wanted to go to school for, all I knew was that I was going to school. I decided to continue my education in psychology for reasons I can’t even remember now. For four years I did the thing: infant development, personality theory, statistics (just the word give me nightmares), communcaitons, you name it. My plan all along was to be a Marriage and Family Therapist. But it wasn’t until I was in my final semester and getting into the field that I realized I had made the wrong choice. Two quitted jobs in 5 months- not very pretty on the resume. The first job was in an adolescent group home for troubled girls. I had no idea the mental toll a job like that would have on me. 12 hour days, bad working conditions, mentally exhausting and not to mention the 21 mentally troubled girls I was trying to help. It was not fun, to say the least. I thought, well, maybe it’s just this specific job I’m not cut out for. Enter in the second job. This next job was a day treatment facility for children to get help with certain behavioral issues. Not only did the job sound better but the company promised amazing things. They were in need of therapists so badly that they would pay for my schooling and eventually I can run my own office! What a dream, right? As I started this job with much more excitement and thought I was on the right track, I quickly learned that I just didn’t have what it takes. The treatment center focused more on children with autism and as sweet as those kids were, it takes a special person to give treatment. I wasn’t educated or trained at all to work with kids with autism. As I questioned my abilities, I talked to some therapists that were working there to ask them questions about the realities of becoming a therapist. Not only did they scare me to death but also made me re-think everything. After already putting in four years for a Bachelors then you must do a Master’s program, then 2,000 supervised hours, then national testing, then state testing, then 1,000 clinical hours before you can even be licensed. I was looking at 10 years before I could even start where I actually wanted to be! Now this is where the midlife crisis (at 21) gets interesting…

Talk. About. Embarrassment. I had been going to school for years, I have told everyone I know what I wanted to persue after school and somewhere along the way I had just convinced myself that it was my life’s goals. When I took a hard look in the mirror I couldn’t even give myself any explanation of why I wanted to do it. Not only was I confused and embarrassed with myself, I then had to admit my husband and family why I couldn’t commit. The worst part was not realizing that I didn’t want a career in psychology, it was figuring out what I actually wanted to do. Where do you even begin?? I had to compltely re-evaluate my passions and goals! My train of thought took stops at Human Resources to photography to maybe an Etsy store and now we are currently stopped at here, at copywriting (and I’m LOVING it). As difficult as this process was, I came to a big realization.

My relationship with schooling wasn’t healthy. I couldn’t commit to a career because in the end I didn’t have a passion for it. My understanding was, if you want a good paying job, you have to have a degree. I wasn’t going to all those psychology classes because I wanted to soak it all up, I was going to have a degree in my back pocket (that and to make my parents proud). I had realized that I will never get anywhere in life if I don’t have the passion or drive to truly want to learn because I wanted to and because I was curious instead of just trying to meet the required credits. I feel like this in an issue with many people my age because the need for money and stability is almost a requirement. The world is an expensive place to live and minimum wage just isn’t going to cut it anymore. This leads to people going to school to help get a good job instead of following something that makes them feel alive. There’s a saying that comes to mind, “You only live once. Wrong. You live every day, you only die once.” It’s what you do every day that counts.

So. I decided that it was more than okay to not peruse a career in my degree field. I realized that education and degrees will ALWAYS be there. The moms that were in my classes got so much more out of it than I did because they wanted it bad enough. There’s no need to rush through life to prove a point that in the end, no one will care about besides you. It’s about what experience and time can teach us. And I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not wake up one day with a list of regrets but rather have stories, lessens, happiness and fulfilment.